Have you ever feel like you don’t have anywhere you belong to…? Feeling like whatever you say will ended up means nothing…? And no one will hear or care what you say…? To the point of you’re questioning yourself why you’re even there…?
Dunno why lately that’s how I feel… Not just once, but many times I suddenly feel like crying with no reason… Feeling like I don’t have place to belong…
Sometimes I even feel like I want to die and disappear from this world…
Continue readingLately I’ve been only putting PV in this blog and I rarely wrote anything here. But I guess it’s time to start write once again… (=w=a)
So… Life has been funny for me this year… With its ups and downs…
Starting with the Corona pandemic from the start of the year… My family got some sudden trouble… I’m unable to submit any journal until summer holiday… My father ended up unable to do his work due to the pandemic (which makes him unable to fly to another island which is where he works)… Feeling depressed many times due to the change in lifestyle to the point sometimes I feel like I want to just runaway from my current life and take a permanent sleep… Suddenly contacted by my lecturer back in my undergraduate days, asked to help becoming one of the jury for a comic competition in my country… And lastly, my stay in Japan will end not long from now… (OwO)a Maybe around late November…
Continue readingSomehow today it’s raining since the morning… And now, my youtube suddenly plays this song… Good way to troll me youtube… Very funny…
Oh well… Might as well embrace this gloomy feeling… A cup of tea will be perfect with this…
Have a nice day everyone~ Jya, ne~! ๐
Sincerely, Bena nDR
Just something to brighten up my mood. ๐
Jya~ne! ๐
Sincerely, Bena nDR
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We say hello and we say goodbye
And I know that, we’ll be alright
That you and I, we’re far away
So wait ’till I, come back back
Accidentally found this song on youtube and curiously opens it due to Katy Perry and Final Fantasy Brave EXVIUS (like… what? for real? Final Fantasy? THE Final Fantasy?)… But turns out the song is nice, and I love how it gave the ‘Unconditionally’ feel from the song. The lyric’s also nice. So, yeah, how I not like this song. ๐
Found this collaboration MV on youtube! ๐ It’s LOTTE (yep the famous sweets makes) xย Bump of Chicken (one of my fave Japanese group band! XD). The anime MV was cute and the song, just like Bump’s song as usual, NICE! ๐
Here’s the MV link! Don’t forget to buy some chocolate or sweets to accompany you watch it. Coz you’ll crave for one after watching it. XD Enjoy~!
Sincerely, Bena nDR
PS: Lately I like this kind of pairing. Maybe it’s time to make a story or manga with this type of pairing? *thinks*
October is almost over, and what is that mean?? Halloween is on the corner! And November is next on the line! ๐
One of the reason I’m a bit hype up this year’s October-November, besides of Halloween (I always love Halloween with all those pumpkins and cute costumes and clothes! AND DON’T FORGET THE CANDIES!!! It’s one of my most awaited time of the year when I was small back in the US), is this year’s November 23rd Fantastic Beasts: The Crime of Grindelwald is on theater in Japan! ๐ It really feels like a birthday present for me. Ufufufufufu…
And due to that hype, I ended up making a new Pottermore page (my old ones are gone bye bye somewhere ;w;) ). And this time, start things all over again with the sorting hat and such.ย ย Continue reading
I won’t wear makeup on Thursday
I’m sick of covering up
I’m tired of feeling so broken
I’m tired of falling in love
Sometimes I’m shy and I’m anxious
Sometimes I’m down on my knees
Sometimes I try to embrace
All my insecurities
So I won’t wear makeup on Thursday
‘Cause who I am is enough
I think I just found my new favorite song.
Being someone who often feel insecure about myself and feel ugly, this song really helps me to calm myself down.
There are times I suddenly cried without any reason, there are also times I feel like I just want to vanish from this world. And often I feel depressed about everything… As if everything I do always turns into chaos and nothing good.
Maybe I need some time to just stop and look around. And get a grip on myself…
Gosh… What am I writing… Better stop it here…
That’s all for now I guess…? Jya.
Sincerely, Bena nDR
I wanna laugh, I don’t wanna cry
Don’t want these tears inside my eyes stay
Don’t wanna wake up and feel insecure
I wanna sing, I wanna dance
I wanna feel love inside my hands again
I just wanna feel beautiful
So, this October 23rd is me and Ryu’s 9th anniversary. It’s not a short time I guess. A lot of things happened, a lot of ups and downs. And here we are now.
Currently this song accompany me on my iPod. (=w=) Although it’s a bit “dark”, I love the lyric and the tune. ๐
Well, I often ended up liking The Chainsmokers’s songs. Anyways~ Have a nice day everyone~! And enjoy October~! ๐
Jya~ne! ๐
Sincerely, Bena nDR
They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest
They got their hands at my neck this time
But you’re the one that I want, if that’s really so wrong
Then they don’t know what this feeling is like
Mad Cat Daily 